Yesterday morning I woke up to a storm raging outside, and despite the natural urge to cuddle up and siesta the day away, I got my crap together and headed off for my bi-weekly 9 hour school day. After walking to all my classes and sitting in wet clothes for the whole day Rod informs me that Empire Grade (AKA: OUR WAY HOME) was closed off until further notice.
"No biggie," I foolishly told him. "I'm sure the road will be open by the time class is over". Oh if only I could go back in time, shake this naive Leesa, and tell her to...well...I guess there's nothing I could have really done to prevent the night's events. Needless to say, after class Rod and I found that the road was still closed still so we picked up Rod and Stephanie's friend, Billy, met up with Stephanie, and went to see Whip It! I was way more into my sushi that I brought than I was into the movie, but at least we found a good way of using up time before the road opened up again.
On our way to Empire Grade to see if the road was open yet, which it wasn't, we decided to encourage the nude bravery of our fellow UCSC classmates at the Naked Run. Finding where all the naked people are turned out to be like a bizarre scavenger hunt. We would see clusters of excited clothed people lined up along the road and ask where the nakies were. Then we'd find more clues, like a glowing buttocks in the forest, or the distant shouts and cheers of a randy crowd. Finally, like the stampede of animals in the streets of Jumanji, our car was immersed in a sea of jigging appendages. Seeing people you know run wild and completely naked through the UC Santa Cruz campus is so different from every other naked context. There's nothing erotic, frightening, or disgusting about it, at least to me. I've never seen so much penis or hooha in my life, but they might as well have just been wearing a bunch of silly hats for all the scandal it brought to our campus.
After our slutty appetites were satiated, we literally satisfied our appetites on pizza, challah, and cheese at Billy and Matt's apartment. Once there I scared my new acquaintances by revealing too much of my disturbing inner thoughts such as "when I'm older and married I can't wait to become obese". By 12:30, we were on the verge of out wearing our welcome so we chanced a check up on the Empire Grade status. Surprise surprise it was still closed and after chasing down a cop and harassing the kiosk lady for information we still had no idea when the road would be opened up.
At this point Rod, Stephanie, and I had to make a life altering decision: Which one of us had to die in order for two of us to survive?
But before Stephanie and I could eat Rod, we decided to stick it to the man and WALK the length of Empire Grade in order to get home. Rod was relieved he didn't have to die, Stephanie was wary of the long, dark, creepy, walk in the woods, and I was excited at the chance of peeing in the forest. So with two flashlights in hand, we slipped by the kiosk lady, ignored the Closed Road signs, and followed the yellow lined road back home. Road safety cars kept driving by and we would (probably unnecessarily) dive into the bushes and huddle together, laughing and crying at the thought that we could be caught trespassing, or worse, run over. After passing potential zombie infested cars parked in the middle of the pitch black road, we finally made it home only to find that there was no electricity.
Another great reason for living in the middle of no where.
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